A little over my head

I'm starting to realize that things that once happened, don't really matter.
It doesn't really matter how you used to be, what you used to do, or what you've done before.

I cannot rely on my past to define the person I am now.
I cannot depend on my previous strengths to make up for my current weaknesses.

This is a bit of a feeling of freedom. Whenever anything like this happens I usually think about how my former self would handle it. But I'm always changing. And finding new ways to cope with things. When things like this happen, I find strengths inside of me that I never knew I had. People are always talking about freedom. Freedom to live a certain way, without being kicked around. Of course the more you live a certain way, the less it feel like freedom. Me, I can change during the course of a day. I wake and I'm one person, when I go to sleep I know for certain I'm somebody else. I don't know who I am most of the time, but right now I'm feeling pretty proud of the way I am. I love how much trust I can put in myself. And that sounds stupid because most people would think, "Can't everybody trust themselves?" Because you know yourself the best, right? But that's not even true. After meeting you I learned how there are people that can't even trust their own emotions. They can hardly predict what they're going to do next, how they're going to feel next.

I have a greater understanding for myself, and the reason I do certain things, and that feels good. I have a greater understanding for other people. I can forshadow things that I need to be aware of, and now, it seems like I know what to do with it. I'm really happy that I don't have to look at past mistakes to help me. It's really nice being able to keep looking forward.