I don't know what to say.
Everything that happened over the weekend has really fucked things up.
Where do I even start?
I'm sick of having this anxious feeling all the time. I no longer blame it on the amount of coffee I've been drinking lately, even though caffeine does do that to me. I'm just waiting for some closure, and waiting for everything to fall together again.
The fact that Avieta and Bryant aren't friends anymore is really hard for me to face.
Why is it that every group of friends I have falls apart somehow? Every single time. It's terrible that I can't hang out with both of them at the same time anymore. The fact that they were talking to me about it like it doesn't effect me is what upsets me the most. They would say things like, "Yeah we're not friends. Oh well. Shit happens. I'm over it."
As selfish as this sounds, did you ever think about how it's hard for me now?
I guess I always try and keep my friends together for my benefits. I loved spending time with both of you, and loved the places we'd go, the things we'd do. Now I have to separate the plans, separate you both into separate days in the weekend.
Why is it that I can never feel secure with my friends anymore?
Every new person that comes around I just see as temporary. I feel like I'm temporary. Do I hold any significance to anybody.. at all?
'I used to be such a burning example. I used to be so original.
I used to care I was being careful. Made sure I showed it to those that I loved.
I used to sleep without a single stir. Cause I was about my fathers work.
I was the glue that kept my friends together, now they don't talk, and we don't go out'
'Take all that you have
and turn it into something you were missing
Somebody threw that brick
And shattered all your plans'
Monday, November 3, 2008
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1 comment:
"The fact that they were talking to me about it like it doesn't effect me is what upsets me the most."
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN. Kayla and Tahani would talk to me last year about going to new schools and they were sooo excited, they wouldn't stop. I was SO upset though. Two of my best friends, leaving me. I remember one time Kayla was talking to me about it in english, and I had to go to the bathroom to cry in private. Awful.
But I'm glad they're friends again, for your sake! <3333 When someone does that to you, pleeease tell them how it upsets you. It's not selfish at all, it shows you CARE.
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