Plans. Fears, And Expectations

Today has just been a huge outlook on my future, and an outlook on where I am right now, and what I'm really doing with my life..

After school today my dad set up a meeting with Mr. Cabrerra, Mrs. Childs, and Mr. Cisco. All through fourth period I was a nervous wreck thinking about how the meeting was gonna go, and thinking about what they were going to say. It went okay. I don't know why I have such a hard time keeping a straight face in serious situations. I kept laughing, and it made it look like I wasn't taking it seriously. It really just seemed like they weren't taking me seriously. Every time I would say something, they would all get silent and just.. stare at me. I can't think of one thing I said where I actually got a good response. It was ridiculous and I felt like I wasn't being heard, at all.

My attendance for this year is 80%
Which means I've basically missed 1 or 2 days out of every week this year. I can't do that anymore. A lot of questions were asked during the meeting. A lot of questions that I've sort of been ignoring.

"What do you plan to do after High School?"
"Where do you plan on going for college?"
"What are you planning on studying?"
"Do you realize you need to double up on math?"

"What are your plans?"

Plans. Plans. Plans.

I have no plans.
I have no idea what my future is going to be like..

I really need to step up. Surprisingly my dad isn't even punishing me. Even after finding out about my flaky attendance, and lack of effort in my classes. He didn't take away anything from me. I guess he has faith in me. The thing is, while I was in the meeting I really felt motivated, and I told them that I'm really ready to change my ways. But I guess I was lying to them and myself, because already, I've lost whatever inspiration I had at that point. I'm worried I'm already tied down with these bad study habits..

My horoscope today,
"It seems natural for you to think in grand terms about your future now, yet this doesn't mean that your head is off in the clouds. To the contrary, your reasoning is probably quite sound if your feet remain firmly planted on the ground. Try to take it in stride if someone seems resistant or even combative to your plans. Instead of engaging in a public scuffle, just act intelligently to further your own point of view."