I know that you can hear this

I never thought I'd ever hear Caitlin tell me to fuck off.
I never thought I'd ever hear Ramsey tell me to burn in hell.
And I never thought Chelsea would betray my like she did.

I really wish I didn't care so fucking much. I wish I would of just stayed out of it and let them go on telling their lies, and faking to get by. It's the worst feeling being accused of lying when I'm actually telling the truth. I told Ramsey what I told him because I still consider him one of my best friends. I consider Caitlin one too. Or at least I did.

Chelsea was my main source. She was the one that really confirmed that what I was hearing was true. And the fact that she's denying it now makes me feel so.. empty. I think Ramsey knows I'm telling the truth but he doesn't want to believe it. I understand why it would be hard to believe.

I have so much anger towards Caitlin right now. But still no hate. I still think it's sick and messed up how I can have such strong negative feelings towards her, and still miss her. But I guess that's normal.

I never meant to hurt anybody or ruin anything. You act like I get some sick enjoyment out of this. You say, "Stay out of my fucking business. Why are you doing this?"

It was probably the worst day I've had all through out high school.
I don't think I can really trust anyone anymore. I haven't talked to Caitlin and Ramsey basically all of October. And for some reason just talking to them on the phone felt good to me, being able to say every little thing I've been holding in for months. Even though hearing them cry, and yelling "Fuck you" to me was really hard to hear.

I hate how I want to say sorry when there's nothing to be fucking sorry for.
Please.. Don't turn this around on me, Caitlin. You're starting to believe your own lies and that is a destructive and scary habit. You're getting lost with in yourself. I wish I had some proof. Some solid proof that I'm right about all of this. So you could all just stop accusing me of making it up.

But I thought hearing from your best friend was enough proof.
Because after all, why would anybody make any of this shit up?

"Wake up and face me, don’t play dead, cause maybe,
Someday I’ll walk away and say, “You disappoint me,”
Maybe you’re better off this way

Go ahead and play dead
I know that you can hear this
Go ahead and play dead
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
You fucking disappoint me"