Please don't think that this has been easy for me

Because it hasn't. I didn't want this to fall apart. I didn't want us to drift away from each other. But it's happening. Right in front of my eyes. I just don't know if I can deal with the way I feel around you anymore. It's not just you. It's them too. My self esteem has lowered so much that I don't think it could be lowered anymore. I'll always remember the things you all have said to me. And I'll always remember all of the good times that we've had. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what to feel anymore towards you. It seems like you guys can't do anything for me. You guys don't want to do anything for me. I don't see that as a 'good friendship'

Maybe we just need a break from each other? Maybe you just don't know how to show that you care. Maybe I need to stay with the people that actually make me feel good about myself. But NEVER think that this is easy for me. Don't think that I just got bored of you. Don't think that I'm a terrible friend. Because I did try. I just don't think I can try anymore : / this is the hardest thing, starting the year without you by my side. Because you guys have kind of always been there. I just wish you guys could make me feel good about myself. I wish that the only thing that mattered was the good times that we've had. But the things you guys have said and done to me kind of overpower the fun that we've had to the point where none of the 'fun' really matters. I don't know if any of this makes sense to you. I don't know if you're sitting there, reading this, and laughing. I just wish that you could show that you really want to be a better friend to me. And no I'm not saying I was a PERFECT friend to you. Because it was too hard when all we did was argue, argue, argue. I wish that you all could grow out of this. But maybe it's just the way you guys are. Maybe there's nothing I can do about it.

I just need a break.
I need to do this for myself.

I'M NOT SAYING THAT I'M DONE WITH THIS FRIENDSHIP
I don't give up on people that easily, ever. I just want some change..