Sunday, September 30, 2007

The perks of being a wall flower

"You know, a lot of kids at school hate their parents. Some of them got hit. And some of them got caught in the middle of wrong lives. Some of them were trophies for their parents to show to the neighbors like ribbons or gold stars. And some of them just wanted to drink in peace. For me personally, as much as I don't understand my mom and dad, and as much as I feel sorry for both of them sometimes. I can't help but love them very much."

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"I look at people holding hands in the hallways and I try to think about how it all works. At school dances, I'm in the background, and I tap my toe, and I wonder how many couples will dance to 'their song.' In the hallways, I see girls wearing the guys jackets, and I think about the idea of property. And I wonder if anyone is really happy. I hope they are. I really hope they are."

"Do you always think this much charlie?"
"Is that bad?" I just wanted someone to tell me the truth.
"Not necessarily. It's just that sometimes people use thoughts to not participate in life."
"Is that bad?"
"Yes."
"I think I participate though. Don't you think I am?"
"Well are you going to these dances?"
"I'm not a very good dancer."
"Are you going on dates?"
"Well I don't have a car. And The girl I like is too old for me."
Bill smiled and continued to ask me questions. Slowly he got to "problems at home." And I told him about the boy who makes mix tapes for my sister. And how he hits her. And she told me not to tell mom or dad about it. But I figured I could tell Bill. He got this very serious look on his face after I told him and he said something to me I don't think I will forget this semester, or ever.
"Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve."

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Patrick started driving really fast. Sam was standing in the bed of the pick up truck. And just before we got to the tunnel, Sam stood up, and the wind turned her dress into ocean waves. When we hit the tunnel, all the sound got scooped up into a vacuum, and it was replaced by a song on the tape player. A beautiful song called "Landslide." When we got out of the tunnel Sam screamed this really fun scream, and there it was. Downtown. Lights on buildings and everything that makes you wonder. Sam sat down and started laughing. Patrick started laughing. I started laughing. And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Good words.