You don't have to be alone

"If it wasn't for my boyfriend, I'd still have all of my friends."

We left because of you. And I hope one day you learn to stop passing the blame over onto everyone else. I feel sorry for you, because I know you want your friends again more than anything. I should of never talked to you again. Because I know it completely messed with your heart. I do miss the fun we used to have together, so much. But I liked the things we did, and the places we went, all the things that made me happy, more than the base of our friendship itself. It was good. It was really good for a long time. But I know better. I know that anybody that can't feel love for themselves isn't going to be able to be the friend I need them to be. You drove me into hate, too. And it was ruining so many things around me. It's hard because, I don't want to be your friend, and you're trying so hard to make it like it used to be. Every day that I've re spent with you, the only words that came out of your mouth were negativity towards people that really care about you. And it wrapped me back to the beginning.. You never appreciated the things you had.

I hope you will let yourself hate me. Because I won't be the friend you want me to be, not again. I don't have any desire for it back. It's hard seeing the excitement in you when we're all around. Last night I knew how hard it was for you. I can say in your position, I wouldn't be able to handle it. And I couldn't believe the things they were saying to you. It's hard seeing you cry, and knowing how unhappy you are. If you think it's cruel that I push you away, when you need the opposite so badly, you have to remember I still have feelings. I am not heartless. Maybe this is a perfect time for you to for once, take care of yourself. Now that there's nobody else to worry about. I do have hope for you, and really, I do hope for the best. I want to see you happy. Last night, when you were in the same room as emilee I hope you saw it as a perfect chance to put everything that happened with her in the past. You have spent two years trying to let go. Do it now. Don't let yourself stay in this rut any longer. Run away while you can.