We were fated to pretend

Tonight at work Katrina told me about how life changing her first year on her own was. How that's when you learn the most through experiences, partying, part time jobs, you draw some conclusions and for once start to have your mind set on what you want. In a way, I'm excited to cut myself free from all of the things I'm tied on to in this town. It's scary. I'm scared. But I mean, that's really when I start my life. I watch her. And she's living how I picture myself in about a year. That's what scares me the most. Just one more year.

When I walked in the door tonight my dad was in his room, I went in and said goodnight. He asked how my day was and I said "I'll tell you about it tomorrow." Just a minute ago he came and knocked on my door and asked if everything was alright. I said yes and then asked why. He said, "Because, you said you'd tell me about everything tomorrow. I just wanted to make sure that every thing's alright." Every thing is alright. I just simply wanted to tell him about the details of my day. I said, "Yeah, I'm fine. It's all good. Don't worry." and he said, "Okay, good. Now I can sleep. I love you." I gave an I love you, back. And that's what I'll miss if I ever leave this town. Leaving everything that I've ever known. Leaving family. I know I'll meet new people, I'll make new friends. But leaving family is different. I want my dad to do things like fix my car, and help me move in. I want to have him over to my place and cook dinners for him and Susan. And then I think about myself in California. When I only see him every couple months. It's hard to think about being away from him at all.

I know it's supposed to be something every senior in high school looks forward to, moving out, being on their own. But really, I can't picture coming home and not seeing my dads face.