I am blank

I don't know.
I guess this is the way things are sometimes.
I guess the greatest things can just end out of no where.

This is exactly what I've been scared of all along. And it's happening. It's real now.

I miss the night laying in the car with you at 4:00 in the morning in the random parking lot while it was raining. Just being there with you, and being able to hold you was the greatest feeling ever. That's really all I want right now. To just be with you.

I don't want to think about what this will be like.
I can't believe he won't let you go anywhere until summer.
And I don't know what I'll do not being able to talk to you at all since your phone will be canceled. I have no clue what we do, or where we go from here.
I can't imagine how hard this is for you.

Right now I feel more alone than I have ever felt before.
With out you, I'm just right back to feeling like I'm just here. I'm blank. I'm living, and I'm breathing, but I don't feel as alive as I did before. I don't know anymore.

When I told you I can't lose feelings for you I meant it.
And I hope you meant it to.
I don't know what happens now.
Who knows what we'll be, or where we'll be when summer comes around.

What if he really sends you to Portland by then?

I can't sleep.
I can't think.
I'm a mess.