Cloudy Days

I'm so happy that you messaged me.

"I just wanted to say
that I'm sorry for everything that happened between us,
that I let some stupid guy come between our friendship,
and that I was so rude about that whole thing"

All of high school I couldn't quite grip the fact that we weren't friends anymore. It all happened because of your boyfriend. I hate him for taking away all of your friends. And I have to admit that I'm happy that you guys are apart now. But I guess the reason we stopped being friends was a lot of my fault, too.

For the last three years I've tried a lot to just get some closure with you.
I tried adding you on myspace a couple times, and every time you'd deny it. Whenever I would be with mutual friends of ours that were texting you, I'd tell them to tell you I said "hi" and you'd usually just say "oh, hi" or switch topics. I guess it got easier for me to accept, and after a while I just stopped caring. But I knew there would always be a reserved spot inside of me for our friendship. I knew that I would take it back any day.

It sounds sort of weird, but the thing I loved the most about our friendship was your house. I loved being at your house. In the summer. In the winter. It was always so comfortable. It was perfect. The big front porch with the swinging bench. The big red door. Your big bathroom with the old fashioned bath. The upstairs that we always thought was haunted. Your huge backyard with so many random things and the broken down cars your dad seemed to always be working on. Every time I drive by it so many memories come back. I always remember spending rainy days there. We'd spend so much time in the living room with all of your cats. I loved how it was such an old house, but so nice at the same time. And I always remember that time in the summer when we went into your dads old car and you pushed back the front seat, and I layed in the back seat with the cracked leather. And we rolled down the dirty windows and let the summer air in while we told scary stories or something ridiculous like that. So many childhood memories were with you. You were really a big part of my past.

I remember all of your secrets, your weaknesses, your strengths, your insecurities, your words, and your fears. I feel like I still know you as much as I always have. And I feel like if we did start to talk again, it wouldn't be hard to get caught up from what we've missed.

I replied to your message, and you haven't read it yet. But I'm really excited to see what happens next. I'd be so happy to be able to start over again with you. It'd be the greatest thing if you came back into my life again.