Merry Christmas

After all, everything is fine.
In the end, I'm okay.
And ultimately, Family is what keeps me alive.

This Christmas was different than most of them. For once it didn't feel like the typical routine we usually do on Christmas. I love the way we've always done it, but changing it up and adding some new things was nice.

I like having my step brother Dustin being at the house. Just because I like the feeling of having other siblings in the house once again. Jared's okay. He complains, and yells, and demands a lot of things from Susan.. But when you actually talk with him, and spend time with him when he's calm, he's just alright. I loved hanging out with them and Susan. For once it wasn't awkward. For once I actually felt like they were my family, instead of two people just living in my house. I loved how Susan would try to relate to our jokes she didn't understand.

I love how funny things were this Christmas.
My dad's hilarious when he doesn't even try to be. I couldn't stop laughing at the fact that he was tracking Santa online. And while we were all sitting in the living room you'd hear him yell things out like, "He's in Japan right now!"

At one point when we were all in the basement, he came downstairs and really wanted to play Christmas music, so he turns on the CD shuffler. He picked CD slot 3, and apparently there was already a CD in slot 3. He pressed play and heavy metal music started blasting on the surround sound. And he had such a confused look on his face. And he didn't know how to turn it off.

"This is the music the Fitzgerald's play while opening presents"
Priceless.

We have all these stories, and these grudges, and these hauntings hidden inside of every single member of our family. And we aren't anything close to functional. But right now, none of it matters. Right now, I love all of them more than anyone else in my life. Right now I'm laying in my room on my bed with my brand new laptop, and I hear Matthew and David laughing downstairs while watching the Family Guy DVDs we got, and Susan and Dad doing the dishes in the kitchen, and the house is so clean and smells like cookies. And I'm thinking it doesn't get much better than this. This is the life. This is really all I need.

I wish I never said my dad doesn't do enough for me.
And I wish my mom had us there so Christmas wasn't so lonely.
Let me just say this for the record, that I really do love my dad, and everyone in my family. No matter what I say in the future, no matter what I've said in the past.

Family Comes First.