Tuesday, January 29, 2008

You did it yourself

1) I really want to be better friends with you again. I have made a lot of big changes, in hope that you would realize them. But it doesn't seem like you have. You still haven't asked me to hangout ever. And I know you might be busy with work but, it's not as if you're constantly working. I really miss hanging out. And pretty much the only reason I made all these changes is so I could get our friendship back before we completely lose touch. You always told me you were praying, and hoping I would get over that phase I went through. Well I did. It'd be nice if we could get things back to how they used to be. Out of all my friends, you've always been there the most.

2) You lie. And you lie. And you lie. And you lie. You don't know how to take responsibility for your own actions, and mistakes. You really enjoy putting the blame on me. I'm really tired of putting up with all your phases, and all your lies, and all your ridiculous reasoning for things. It's amazing how many people have came up to me confronting me about "how I got you in trouble" I did not get you in trouble. You got yourself in trouble. Hopefully, one day, you will learn that I'm not the one who makes your mistakes. You are.

3) I really like hanging out with you. And I always feel guilty whenever I make plans difficult. You even told me on the phone that I always end up being able to hangout really late, or I never know what the plan is, or I never know where we should go. And it always makes me feel bad because I feel like I'm wasting your time. So sorry for that. I'm always scared you're going to get mad at me! Or stop talking to me. Or get annoyed with me. Because I've heard the things you say about some of your other friends and it makes me question if you say the same things about me. Besides all that, you're a great person, and we seem to be a lot alike, and I'm really glad we're such good friends! I promise once we can both drive, plans will be a lot easier to make.

4) You always seem to try and do these little things to piss me off. It really upsets me that I wasn't invited to your house on the last weekend that Patrick is here. But EVERYONE else was invited. And in the library you were talking about how much fun it was going to be, and you kept naming off people that you should invite. I don't know if you noticed, but that really pissed me off. That's sort of why I haven't been talking to you, and why I've been walking away whenever you come around. Whenever me and you are just hanging out you're really cool! And we have a lot of fun. But then whenever we get around other people it seems like you switch into a completely different person and you start acting like an asshole to be funny. Or whatever other reason you act like an asshole to me. I'm not saying you're a terrible friend. Because you do have your good sides. But it'd be nice if you'd stop always saying things to intently piss me off to get a reaction out of me. Everyone told me to stay away from you. And everyone still tells me to stay away from you. And to be honest, I am sort of trying to keep my distance until you can prove that you actually want to be my friend. I'm not saying "BOW DOWN AND FOLLOW MY RULES!" simple acts of kindness would actually change how I see you right now. Because your asshole-ish ways are starting to get old.

5) YOU'RE WHAT'S KEEPING ME SANE. That's all I have to say. Thanks for helping me decorate my room! Our friendship is better than anyone else. You're actually the strongest person out of all my friends.

6) I love you to death! You're the other strongest friend that I have. Really. I'm the luckiest person to have you as one of my best friends. We're so funny together. We're so much fun. I love us. I'm going to miss having fourth period with you. Or having any classes with you. You have to promise me we won't lose touch.

7) You always seem to point out all the people that don't like me and shove it in my face. And it's almost as if you enjoy telling me. And anytime we're around your friends you act like you're too cool to talk to me. You're one of the funniest people I know though. You always make fun of me. But I don't get offended. It's actually what makes everything so hilarious. You're the only person that can make fun of my Multicultural Studies journal writings. Anyone else that does, I will beat up.

8) We don't hangout as much anymore. Only sometimes at school. You used to always invite me to hangout during the weekends. And I used to sneak out to just go on drives wherever. But for some reason none of that happens anymore. I really hope I haven't drove you away. Or done something to upset you. I miss the days hanging out though. Those really were the best times.

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