Here comes the feeling you thought you'd forgotten

I kept chcking my phone over and over during work and then realized how fast I jumped back. I'm wondering why did I say I'm great when you asked how I was?
I'm wondering why I'm even replying, so easily.

Wondering how many other guys you're texting right now. If that means anything to you. If I'm worrying over something that doesn't even involve me. If I'm just worrying too much.

I really wish you knew how it felt to be this weak. I'm not saying you haven't felt weak before, but this is such a different kind. Because love has all control over me. It's what really takes the wheel. I have never seeked revenge on you. You have never seen my terrible sides that I've brought out on people that screwed me over before. Tonight Jimmy pointed out how easily I drop people out of my life. And it hurt that he pointed that out. Because sometimes I feel like it's been a strength for me, but then I think about all of the feelings that come along with it. And how even though it's always for the best, how hard it is to walk away from. Because even when you let somebody go, they're still there. I was thinking, why can I let go of everyone else, but not you? Why is it that even when I'm so angry towards you, I still love you.

I don't want to think anymore. I just want to sleep.