Train this chaos, turn it into light

And now I'm feeling like I should be cut out of your life. And it's not because anything that you're doing. But because knowing myself, knowing my ways, I can be such a fucking let down. If anything, I feel like someone like me could only destroy all the beautiful things about you. It's hard saying this because I really don't know how to be without you.

I don't want you to feel trapped. I don't want to be one of the people that hangs in the back of your mind when you're trying to decide what you want. I'll be by your side. And I'll help you focus on what you need. I'll make plans with you, even if they're ones that I'm not involved in. I'll listen to you tell me what you see in your future, even if I'm not one of the things listed. I won't say I'm not scared of you moving to Portland, I am. I can't say I'd be okay, because I wouldn't. But no matter how much I love you, or how much you love me- I want everything you do, to be for yourself. I want you to start focusing on your happiness- and for once not on everyone else.

But I'm scared. And I'm worried. And I love you.