Wednesday, April 1, 2009

And your vicious pain, your warning sign, you will be fine

Dad, don't you see I'm too happy to react right now?
I just got hired. For my first job. This is all you've wanted from me, all year.
I could feel how proud everyone was. Except for you.
I'm so happy with myself. I tried so hard to get hired. It paid off.

When we're not even talking, you start conversation with me to bring up what punishments you came up with for me. When there's not tension, you make some.
When you don't know what to be mad at, you turn to me.

Things have been perfect ever since spring break. And I wanna keep it like that. So I'm not going to react. You're not going to disrupt the positive thinking I've had going on, because that's all that keeps me motivated. It's been putting so many things together in my life. And I know, for sure, it is making me a better, happier, stronger, smarter person.

Me and you.
We're funny.
You take, and I give.
You give, and I take.
We yell, but we love.
I lie, you deny. We forgive, and we forget.

This has become such a cycle. How could I not treat it normally?
I accept your punishments. I didn't before. I do now.
If this is what you have to do, this is what you have to do.

Tonight I handed him all the things he decided to take away, including my car keys,
and asked, "Anything else?"

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