Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Like a haunting melody

More than anything, I just want something, just one thing to be what it's made up to be. Give me something that is actually what it looks like it is. Because I keep looking at everything around me lately and realizing the things I build up to be what I really want, end up turning into something so different. I'm really sick of having to dig so deep into everyone and everything to get a small ounce of answers. It's always little things that should be straight forward, and should be easy to figure out, that take all of my energy. Things that can be easily solved or avoided. I'm constantly asking myself, and everyone around me,
"Why does this need to be made into a problem?"
Why can't we all just pick and chose what we let get to our head?
And what we react to.

Everybody keeps contradicting the things I believe.
I keep finding things that prove to me, as much as I think I have things figured out, I can be so clueless sometimes.. And I'm starting to feel like I have so much control over myself, but none over everyone else.

I've been having a lot of mixed thoughts this week.
Just about everyone I know, comes to me with their problems. I consider that my gift, but I also see it as my curse.

Sometimes I just want to feel appreciated. And really appreciated.
Get the credit I deserve. Give myself more credit.
I guess I just have a hard time giving advice and watching people follow it oppositely. I know that people have to do things on their own, make their own decisions, their own mistakes. But at least keep in mind the things that were talked about with me. I just don't want my words to go to waste.

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