"Eternity will never be enough for me

...And eternally will live our infallible love"

I can't even explain the anxiety I get when I know you're mad at me.
It's impossible to put a word on the feeling that runs through me when we're fighting. It's something I've never felt before. It's a fear I've experienced.

And it leaves so fast with one, "I love you."

You have a hold of a part of me that nobody else can seem to find or keep a grasp on. You bring out so many feelings in me I've never felt before. I think the most important part of loving somebody is keeping the love alive. Never letting that feeling die. I want to keep finding ways to keep us alive, with you. I want to feel more that I've never felt before.

"I want to just stay away from you now. cause from here on youre most likely going to hurt me even more. and thats really hard to say. I see you as the most careless person. I dont think I can really say know you at all, anymore. Its sort of hard to watch you sometimes. cause you can have everything going for you and then you just tear it all down and I don't know why you do it.

"Its not like you were my life. Its not like Im tearing down everything going for me by doing this. Im breaking up with you because I lost feelings. they're gone. It's gone. And its not like Ive changed. you still know me. dont say you dont. thats ridiculous. but yeah good idea. sure. Ill stay away from you too. because most likely I will hurt you again, because Im so unsure of my feelings. this whole time talking to you all I wanted to say is I love you. why is that? I dont know. I dont trust myself. so until I do, if you still want something to do with me, then bye. cause I cant take this."

You don't know this. But what you told me tonight was a lot bigger of a deal to me than I made it seem. It made me feel close to how I felt when we had that conversation.

Every time I fear us going back to that I remember how much we have fought to keep this alive. Us alive. Because then, it sounded like it was over. And that was it. That was when I could never see you. That was when our only communication was through keyboards and home phones. And that went on for nine months. It's been eleven months now, and I still love you. And you still love me. We kept it strong through countless break ups. I know we'll stay strong through anything.