Tuesday, May 29, 2007


I really can't stand how you act now. I hate how you always ditch me. I hate how you lie impulsively. I hate how you ruined my day today just by one thing you did. I really don't like how you can never act yourself it always seems like your trying to be somebody you're not and it's so damn annoying. Thanks for being an ass today.

I liked how our friendship was about five months ago. Everything was fun

I'm nervous to post this

Monday, May 28, 2007

I don't understand some of the things I do

I hate how I don't like most people before I meet them
I'll say "I hate so and so" and then I meet them, and they're great people.
I think I just do it so if I find out they don't like me, I won't be as disappointed. Because I can just say "Oh well, I didn't like them anyway."

It's actually a terrible habit

There's probably so many people that I could be really good friends with right now that I don't even know of because I let them slip right by me by saying 'I don't like them' It's kind of weird to think about


I'm really tired of disappointing people
Seriously, it's getting so old
I'm tired of hurting peoples feelings
And canceling out on people so much, and not being supportive

I really do. I'm sorry that I'm not. I want to be better, for everyone
honest to god

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Dream meanings

I don't remember my dreams much. But when I do I always look up the meanings online (http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary) and oddley most of the time the meanings they give me are true. I'm pretty sure its not just random things people type, like horoscopes. I THINK the meanings are actually written by people that study dreams I could be wrong, I don't know.

Last night I was on the phone with Rayven and we were looking up dreams we've had before. And I was like "I hope I have a dream I'll remember in the morning." And I did! Last night I had a dream about a war, outside of my church. Uh, yeah I don't know. So I looked up war:


To dream of a war, signifies disorder and chaos in your personal affairs. You also be experiencing some internal conflict or emotional struggle. You are feeling torn between aspects of yourself. Perhaps the dream may indicate that you are being overly aggressive or you are not being assertive enough.

Rayven said I have beenw weird with my moods latley : l


The other night I had a dream that I had a random ass tattoo on my face. It was like a circle with all of these dots around it. And after I got the tattoo I was like, wow I can't believe I did that. So I looked up tattoo,


To dream that you have tattoos, represents individuality and the desire to stand out in a crowd. You want to be unique and different from everybody else, particularly if you do not have any tattoos in real life. Consider also what the tattoo is.


Thursday, May 24, 2007

It doesn't get more pointless than this

Today was a really good day, again.
A lot of people were bugging me though. Especially that stupid Kelsey girl. Bitch. Seriously, I can't stand first period because of her. I can't stand her voice, and she never stops talking, and she gives death glaires to me Chelsea and Derek anytime we laugh. She's stupid. First period is stupid. I think Chelsea, Bailey, and I guess derek? Are the only people that make it fun. Second period, nothing happened. There's nothing to type about. Third period, nothing to type about. Fourth period I went with Chelsea and Caitlin again. We went and got Starbucks and went to the park they're so fun to be around.


Maddie got mad at me today because I was being an ass. I'm sorry Maddie.
Chelsea, and Caitlin, and Christian, and everybody that was at the library table with me probably thinks my apology to her is fake. But I really do mean it. Oh and sorry for making you feel awkward at mcdonalds Chanel.

I haven't hungout with Joseph for so long. I hope he can hangout this weekend.
My step mom is paying me so much cash for just taking care of her animals while she's gone for the weekend. She used to bug me, but now she's chill (CHILL? WTF?)

I need to call Allison soon,
I left my water bottle down at the track. Damn I guess I should go get that

Once again, a pointless post. Bye.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Held in for way too long

I'm sick of this. I hate it so much.
I like her, she likes him. blah blah blah

Every time she says something about him I just want to roll my eyes
I hate how she has no clue that I still have feelings for her. I hate that I probably have no chance with her. I really hate that she likes him. I envy people that have perfect relationships. I can never seem to maintain a strong relationship because every time I get what I want I take it for granted what is there. But I know that this time I wouldn't. I know that this time I would really fight for our relationship. I don't know why I'm getting all worked up about this anyway. It probably won't even happen

I'm done thinking about it
And now half of you can probably guess who I'm talking about
I don't really care anymore

Good night

I love days like today

I woke up this morning in just the greatest mood
I woke up awake, with tons of time before I had to leave. I blasted my music, for once I actually got to have breakfast at my own house, and I got to just sit around for thirty minutes and relax. That's not really normal for me. I usally wake up with thirty minutes until I have to leave

Then, on my way to school my dad called me and told me he's giving me money for my good grades. Yeah, I actually raised my grades. And I'm actualy doing good in school. Which is big weight off of my shoulder. I went to lunch with Julia it was our normal lunch she gets a monster, I get an amp and we both get bagels sit around and make fun of the people in safeway haha I love lunch with her

I love my free fourth period. Everyday I have fun in it. I guess I better enjoy it now too because my dad's not going to let my have any free periods from now on. Chelsea and Caitlin make it so much fun. Today we went to Market of Choice. I bought another amp and they got energy drinks, we went down to the park and had one big party.

I really enjoy the weather today
I just think today is great period.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007


I miss the good old days with these kids
Well at least when all of us were friends. I kind of wish they could settle out their differences and we could all hangout every weekend again. But maybe that's just something that won't happen.

I miss our days downtown, And hanging out at nicks house, and going to carls junior for lunch every day! And my weekend with nick in sunriver. Even if we did argue the whole time. It still was fun

Of course Rayven and I are still friends. But we're missing Nick in the gang! And it seems like everytime Nick and I make plans we never follow through


Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Wasting My Time

I really have been feeling latley like school is just a waste of my life.
I'm starting to fall behind in all of my classes again. Everytime a new term starts I always promise myself that I'm going to get great grades in all of my classes but I never follow through. I get to lazy and I find all these different things to distract me from doing my homework

I'm going out of my mind!
I just want the summer to come. I'm done with all of this work.