I spend more time running around on my own lately, and staying at my parents house simply because I'm not as interested in some of the friends or the lifestyle I'm around now or have been around for too many years. It's okay to be bored, or to want something new, or to not stay with something just because it's all you've got at the time. I remember living by the day, and I remember being with people who didn't complain so much about who or what they don't have, what they don't want. We were already happy and entertained with each other. We didn't bring people in and out that we had no interest in, just so we had people around. We didn't get thrills off conflict, or carefully work around each others feelings so we don't offend. Where we didn't move at a slower pace cause we weren't busy reflecting back on things that have happened. It never had to feel so forced just to enjoy ourselves and we didn't worry so much about representing ourselves or our pride the wrong way, because we didn't take ourselves so seriously all the time.
I'd rather walk out on my own, than settle for what doesn't make me happy.
As long as I can stay focused and happy going towards what I do want, I believe I'll get settled in on something I feel more than right with. I don't think it's that I'm never pleased. I just want the best for myself. Sometimes you can't have it all at once, but there shouldn't be so many acceptations... What I desire is what I deserve.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
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