Lies, lies, and more lies

I really find it hard to tell if you're telling the truth, or lying most of the time. I really see you as a compulsive liar, which is weird since you're such a good friend. And I'm not saying you're a bad person, and I'm not saying all you do is lie lie lie. Because everyone lies. All of us. I remember my English teacher told us to live a normal, social life we all have to feed each other little white lies. Because when you're so straight forward, and always say the truth, it probably will make people see you as brutally honest, and cold. But there's a difference between little white lies every once in a while and lying all the time, about things you don't even need to lie about. I know how it is. I used to lie compulsively. I don't even know why. It's like it became a habit. Anything that I didn't feel comfortable admitting I'd lie about. I would lie sometimes to make myself appear better then I really am. Examples? Saying all of this stuff that I've done, that I really haven't. Bragging about all of the things that I've accomplished that I really haven't. And lying about things I didn't want to admit? I did that all the time. When people would ask if I wanted to come over "Oh I can't. My dad said no. Sorry" You've been doing that so much lately. And maybe a lot of the time you really can't hangout. But I'm just so used to your lies that I can't tell if it's the truth anymore.

Lies come in all different forums. Sometimes the lies you tell are lies when you try to make yourself appear as something you're not. It's almost as if you're trying to give yourself an edgy, bad, image. I don't know. You lie to yourself too. It seems like you have put together all these different personalitys in yourself. I almost don't know how you really act. Because everytime we're around our other friends, you change your personality, once again. I don't know. I just wish you knew how to act yourself. You still tell yourself that this IS how you really are. But I just don't know if I can believe that. Why try and be all these different people, and why try to adjust your personality, when you can just be whoever you want to be? Why lie to yourself saying "This is how I am" when you know it's really not.

"We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves.”

It seems like the more we try to defend our lies, the more upset we get. And we start to make our selves believe that the lies we tell, are really true.

You probably don't understand all of the nonsense that I just said.
I just need to vent