I feel a new start coming on
Not just because of our new classes and everything. But I'm actually starting to realize a lot of positive changes in myself. And I like it.
Other then that, I don't have much to update you on.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Sleep all day
Patrick left this morning
Ramsey picked up Jacob and I around 6:30 and then we went straight to the airport. Caitlin met us there too. We spent about two hours there. Sitting around with him, and laughing at the awkward adults that kept giving him gifts, and talking about good times. And then before I knew it it was time for him to get on his plane.
We all sort of stood there in shock. It was really hard to grasp the fact that he was actually leaving. Because to all of us, he was one of our best friends. It was really hard.
We were standing there silent just watching him go through security.
Then we see him get out his phone and he called me
"Can you guys stop staring at me? It's sort of awkward"
Ha!
I've been in the most depressed mood today. So I've slept over half of the day. I'm sure everybody that was close to him is feeling pretty down right now. He's such a great person. I'm so glad we met.
I'm going to miss that kid more than anything.
I'll miss him constantly correcting my grammar.
And him attempting to teach me german words.
And him always saying "Are you making fun of my accent?"
I still can't believe he's actually gone.
Ramsey picked up Jacob and I around 6:30 and then we went straight to the airport. Caitlin met us there too. We spent about two hours there. Sitting around with him, and laughing at the awkward adults that kept giving him gifts, and talking about good times. And then before I knew it it was time for him to get on his plane.
We all sort of stood there in shock. It was really hard to grasp the fact that he was actually leaving. Because to all of us, he was one of our best friends. It was really hard.
We were standing there silent just watching him go through security.
Then we see him get out his phone and he called me
"Can you guys stop staring at me? It's sort of awkward"
Ha!
I've been in the most depressed mood today. So I've slept over half of the day. I'm sure everybody that was close to him is feeling pretty down right now. He's such a great person. I'm so glad we met.
I'm going to miss that kid more than anything.
I'll miss him constantly correcting my grammar.
And him attempting to teach me german words.
And him always saying "Are you making fun of my accent?"
I still can't believe he's actually gone.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
You did it yourself
1) I really want to be better friends with you again. I have made a lot of big changes, in hope that you would realize them. But it doesn't seem like you have. You still haven't asked me to hangout ever. And I know you might be busy with work but, it's not as if you're constantly working. I really miss hanging out. And pretty much the only reason I made all these changes is so I could get our friendship back before we completely lose touch. You always told me you were praying, and hoping I would get over that phase I went through. Well I did. It'd be nice if we could get things back to how they used to be. Out of all my friends, you've always been there the most.
2) You lie. And you lie. And you lie. And you lie. You don't know how to take responsibility for your own actions, and mistakes. You really enjoy putting the blame on me. I'm really tired of putting up with all your phases, and all your lies, and all your ridiculous reasoning for things. It's amazing how many people have came up to me confronting me about "how I got you in trouble" I did not get you in trouble. You got yourself in trouble. Hopefully, one day, you will learn that I'm not the one who makes your mistakes. You are.
3) I really like hanging out with you. And I always feel guilty whenever I make plans difficult. You even told me on the phone that I always end up being able to hangout really late, or I never know what the plan is, or I never know where we should go. And it always makes me feel bad because I feel like I'm wasting your time. So sorry for that. I'm always scared you're going to get mad at me! Or stop talking to me. Or get annoyed with me. Because I've heard the things you say about some of your other friends and it makes me question if you say the same things about me. Besides all that, you're a great person, and we seem to be a lot alike, and I'm really glad we're such good friends! I promise once we can both drive, plans will be a lot easier to make.
4) You always seem to try and do these little things to piss me off. It really upsets me that I wasn't invited to your house on the last weekend that Patrick is here. But EVERYONE else was invited. And in the library you were talking about how much fun it was going to be, and you kept naming off people that you should invite. I don't know if you noticed, but that really pissed me off. That's sort of why I haven't been talking to you, and why I've been walking away whenever you come around. Whenever me and you are just hanging out you're really cool! And we have a lot of fun. But then whenever we get around other people it seems like you switch into a completely different person and you start acting like an asshole to be funny. Or whatever other reason you act like an asshole to me. I'm not saying you're a terrible friend. Because you do have your good sides. But it'd be nice if you'd stop always saying things to intently piss me off to get a reaction out of me. Everyone told me to stay away from you. And everyone still tells me to stay away from you. And to be honest, I am sort of trying to keep my distance until you can prove that you actually want to be my friend. I'm not saying "BOW DOWN AND FOLLOW MY RULES!" simple acts of kindness would actually change how I see you right now. Because your asshole-ish ways are starting to get old.
5) YOU'RE WHAT'S KEEPING ME SANE. That's all I have to say. Thanks for helping me decorate my room! Our friendship is better than anyone else. You're actually the strongest person out of all my friends.
6) I love you to death! You're the other strongest friend that I have. Really. I'm the luckiest person to have you as one of my best friends. We're so funny together. We're so much fun. I love us. I'm going to miss having fourth period with you. Or having any classes with you. You have to promise me we won't lose touch.
7) You always seem to point out all the people that don't like me and shove it in my face. And it's almost as if you enjoy telling me. And anytime we're around your friends you act like you're too cool to talk to me. You're one of the funniest people I know though. You always make fun of me. But I don't get offended. It's actually what makes everything so hilarious. You're the only person that can make fun of my Multicultural Studies journal writings. Anyone else that does, I will beat up.
8) We don't hangout as much anymore. Only sometimes at school. You used to always invite me to hangout during the weekends. And I used to sneak out to just go on drives wherever. But for some reason none of that happens anymore. I really hope I haven't drove you away. Or done something to upset you. I miss the days hanging out though. Those really were the best times.
2) You lie. And you lie. And you lie. And you lie. You don't know how to take responsibility for your own actions, and mistakes. You really enjoy putting the blame on me. I'm really tired of putting up with all your phases, and all your lies, and all your ridiculous reasoning for things. It's amazing how many people have came up to me confronting me about "how I got you in trouble" I did not get you in trouble. You got yourself in trouble. Hopefully, one day, you will learn that I'm not the one who makes your mistakes. You are.
3) I really like hanging out with you. And I always feel guilty whenever I make plans difficult. You even told me on the phone that I always end up being able to hangout really late, or I never know what the plan is, or I never know where we should go. And it always makes me feel bad because I feel like I'm wasting your time. So sorry for that. I'm always scared you're going to get mad at me! Or stop talking to me. Or get annoyed with me. Because I've heard the things you say about some of your other friends and it makes me question if you say the same things about me. Besides all that, you're a great person, and we seem to be a lot alike, and I'm really glad we're such good friends! I promise once we can both drive, plans will be a lot easier to make.
4) You always seem to try and do these little things to piss me off. It really upsets me that I wasn't invited to your house on the last weekend that Patrick is here. But EVERYONE else was invited. And in the library you were talking about how much fun it was going to be, and you kept naming off people that you should invite. I don't know if you noticed, but that really pissed me off. That's sort of why I haven't been talking to you, and why I've been walking away whenever you come around. Whenever me and you are just hanging out you're really cool! And we have a lot of fun. But then whenever we get around other people it seems like you switch into a completely different person and you start acting like an asshole to be funny. Or whatever other reason you act like an asshole to me. I'm not saying you're a terrible friend. Because you do have your good sides. But it'd be nice if you'd stop always saying things to intently piss me off to get a reaction out of me. Everyone told me to stay away from you. And everyone still tells me to stay away from you. And to be honest, I am sort of trying to keep my distance until you can prove that you actually want to be my friend. I'm not saying "BOW DOWN AND FOLLOW MY RULES!" simple acts of kindness would actually change how I see you right now. Because your asshole-ish ways are starting to get old.
5) YOU'RE WHAT'S KEEPING ME SANE. That's all I have to say. Thanks for helping me decorate my room! Our friendship is better than anyone else. You're actually the strongest person out of all my friends.
6) I love you to death! You're the other strongest friend that I have. Really. I'm the luckiest person to have you as one of my best friends. We're so funny together. We're so much fun. I love us. I'm going to miss having fourth period with you. Or having any classes with you. You have to promise me we won't lose touch.
7) You always seem to point out all the people that don't like me and shove it in my face. And it's almost as if you enjoy telling me. And anytime we're around your friends you act like you're too cool to talk to me. You're one of the funniest people I know though. You always make fun of me. But I don't get offended. It's actually what makes everything so hilarious. You're the only person that can make fun of my Multicultural Studies journal writings. Anyone else that does, I will beat up.
8) We don't hangout as much anymore. Only sometimes at school. You used to always invite me to hangout during the weekends. And I used to sneak out to just go on drives wherever. But for some reason none of that happens anymore. I really hope I haven't drove you away. Or done something to upset you. I miss the days hanging out though. Those really were the best times.
If you're my friend, read this!
I'm trying to push away all the weak people in my life.
And it makes me nervous!
It's funny how a lot of the group of friends I've put together has slowly fallen apart and we've all separated into different groups. And we've all gone through our own little phases. And some of us have pissed each other off. I mean it's not like I've lost all of my friends. But, with many of them I can feel the friendship getting weaker and weaker.
It also doesn't help being grounded. I'M ONLY GROUNDED FROM STAYING THE NIGHT PLACES! People think that since I can't stay the night places it's going to be difficult to make plans with me during the day. Screw that. That's stupid. I feel like after I'm ungrounded things might get a little bit better.
Patricks leaving this weekend. Going home to Austria. That's gonna make things 10 times worse. It's really weird to think he's ACTUALLY leaving.
All I want is for some of my friends to show that they actually give a damn.
Because I swear, some of them enjoy pissing me off. Really. There are some people involved in my life who actually get pleasure out of seeing me at my worse. And they don't seem to try and make it better. Ha! I don't even consider those people friends.
BLAH! I need to do one of those "GUESS WHAT PERSON YOU ARE" blogs. I'm going to do that in a minute.
Sorry if I sounded a bit over dramatic in this whole blog.
But really, right now, I've hit rock bottom.
And it makes me nervous!
It's funny how a lot of the group of friends I've put together has slowly fallen apart and we've all separated into different groups. And we've all gone through our own little phases. And some of us have pissed each other off. I mean it's not like I've lost all of my friends. But, with many of them I can feel the friendship getting weaker and weaker.
It also doesn't help being grounded. I'M ONLY GROUNDED FROM STAYING THE NIGHT PLACES! People think that since I can't stay the night places it's going to be difficult to make plans with me during the day. Screw that. That's stupid. I feel like after I'm ungrounded things might get a little bit better.
Patricks leaving this weekend. Going home to Austria. That's gonna make things 10 times worse. It's really weird to think he's ACTUALLY leaving.
All I want is for some of my friends to show that they actually give a damn.
Because I swear, some of them enjoy pissing me off. Really. There are some people involved in my life who actually get pleasure out of seeing me at my worse. And they don't seem to try and make it better. Ha! I don't even consider those people friends.
BLAH! I need to do one of those "GUESS WHAT PERSON YOU ARE" blogs. I'm going to do that in a minute.
Sorry if I sounded a bit over dramatic in this whole blog.
But really, right now, I've hit rock bottom.
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